Fox News Employees Despondent They Have Not Been Appointed to Major Posts in the Trump Administration

"What's wrong with us?" wondered Rick Jones. "I mean, we're all white, we have great wardrobes, we've demonstrated that we will say anything, no matter how ridiculous, on camera with an aura of assured certainty." Looking out the office window with a forlorn glance, Jones struggled to hold back a tear. "What more do I have to do?"

Lance Chambers, when asked to comment on the lack of invitations from the White House to serve the President, refreshed his email feed on his laptop to see if there was an email from the White House. Seeing none, he slammed his laptop shut, started to speak, but then turned away.
Particularly crushed by the lack of interest is Julie Armstrong Featherington. "Not a word from the White House. And I'd be perfect for a major post. I have great legs, I'm skinny, my pouty lips don't need even botox...I'm a natural blonde for Chrissake," she said as she stormed from the office.
When contacted for comment on the story, Fox News volunteered that it has formed a support group for employees who haven't been appointed to Cabinet level posts but that there is a waiting list to join it. "People wonder why they're here," noted one employee who asked not to be identified as he's in contract negotiations. "Some folks have considered leaving and becoming journalists."

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