The IPAD was created to view Chloe Sevigny in Space

Every technology has an ideal use.  Sometimes it is not the inventor's original concept.  Throughout the past 100 years, inventions have been re-purposed by those with imagination and vision.  A few examples are likely to convince anyone:
The CAR - originally designed for people to travel from home to work or places far away, its true purpose became clear when a visionary couple somewhere had sex in the back seat.  For generations, the car has been the place where millions have lost their virginity, had an illicit affair, or even were conceived (e.g. Elaine Robinson in a Ford).  It is wonderful that all can thank the puritanical Henry Ford for the opportunities provided by the car.  Let's hear it for Henry.  Hoo-ray!
The INTERNET - originally designed for scientists to communicate and share data, the internet was considered by many in the 90s to be the new horizon for commerce and the future highway for information.  It was only in 2003 that the musical Avenue Q clarified the true purpose of the internet.
Kate Monster: The Internet is really really great,
Trekkie Monster: For porn!
Kate: I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait.
Trekkie: For porn!
Kate: There's always some new site.
Trekkie: For porn!
Kate: I browse all day and night.
Trekkie: For porn!
Kate: It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light...
Trekkie: For porn!
Kate: Trekkie!
Trekkie: The Internet is for porn!
Kate: Trekkie!
Trekkie: The Internet is for porn!
Kate: What are you doing!?
Trekkie: Why you think the net was born?
Porn! Porn! Porn!

 Kate: I'm glad we have this new technology...
Trekkie: For porn!
Kate: Which gives us untold opportunity.
Trekkie: For porn - oops, sorry!
Kate: From your own desktop.
Trekkie: For ---
Kate: You can research, browse and shop...
Trekkie: Mm!
Kate: Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop.
Trekkie: FOR PORN!!
Kate: Trekkie!

 Trekkie: The Internet is for porn!
Kate: Nooo!
Trekkie: The Internet is for porn!
Kate: Trekkie!
Trekkie: Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!
The LAPTOP COMPUTER - conceived to give people the flexibility to write, work, or create anywhere using common desktop computer programs, the laptop evolved past its original design.  Made to allow people to do things easily away from their office, it has become the means people use to passively watch television programs, movies, and youtube cat videos.  It's also very convenient for the internet and it's main purpose (see above).
THE IPHONE - since its introduction in 2007, many have been confused by the presence of the word "phone" in the name.  The word brings to mind the telephone, the device invented by Alexander Graham Bell to allow people to talk to each other at a distance.  Indeed, that was the iphone's original purpose.  Today, however, as can seen by anyone in public, the iphone is used mostly to take photographs and send text messages.


So it's obvious that people can create new purposes for inventions, usually very different from the original intent.  So now we come to The IPAD.  Though the main purpose for the ipad in its early days was to play Angry Birds more easily than on an iphone, the true crowning purpose of the ipad can be found in the app, SkyView, which allows one to point the ipad at the sky, inside or outside, day or night, and see the positions of the stars and planets.


From the image on the screen, one can learn the name and path of stars, galaxies, planets, even man-made satellites.  It provides outlines of the constellations of the zodiac, including a comely rendering of Virgo which resembles Chloe Sevigny, proving Jay McInerney was right about her being the coolest girl in the world.

Rare alignment of Saturn, the Moon, and Chloe
One can even point the ipad down to the ground to see what the sky would look like in the southern hemisphere.  Finally, the app provides a spacey music soundtrack to evoke new age space travel.

I dare anyone to find a more amazing app.  There will be a lot of forlorn Angry Birds after word gets out.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My favorite places in DC that are no more

Image
First off, a proud admission.   I was BORN in Washington DC.  I have lived half my life in DC, though that includes all of the last 17 years.  It has of course changed a lot since a) I was born and b) since I moved back in 1996.  There are many places that, as I look back, made my life in DC.  Some are still around.  Many are no more.  After reviewing the places below, I realized most are bookstores, movie theaters, and pizza places, plus some other bars and restaurants.  If those ain't your thing, perhaps find some other idle reading.  Here I will give homage to places that were precious to me that are no more.  Those that died recently include pictures I found on the web. My biggies - Some places when they disappeared left big holes in my life, only to be filled with liquor and second rate pizza. Childe Harold   My first legal drink in DC was at Childe Harold.  I spent evenings after working at Olsson's sitting at the bar with a burger and some beer.  I saw World Cu
Read more

MPC Miniature Military Vehicles: 1960s toys

Image
The 1960s was the golden age of plastic toys.  It was the first full decade of mass produced plastic toys of a wide variety.  Yes, toys are still overwhelmingly made of plastic, but if you look through toy stores, there is a tendency to have nodes of toy lines, Lego, Disney, Fischer Price, Thomas Trains, etc, frequently tied in with movies and television.  Back in the 60s shelves were awash with inexpensive, royalty-free toys of different kinds even if they were manufactured by a couple companies.  Toy vehicles were a favorite for boys, and, before the growing awareness of the Vietnam War reduced their popularity, tanks and other military vehicles were a favorite subject.  A particular favorite toy set of mine was, and still is, the Miniature Military Vehicles produced by MPC.  They came in a set of 40 different items, each vehicle about an inch long, representing the armies of the US, Germany, UK, USSR, and France.  Most were a single molded shape, though half of the vehicles had a
Read more

Sharing my name

I have an identity problem.  I share my name with someone else.  Yes, almost everyone shares his or her name with someone somewhere.  But I share my name with the lead singer/guitarist of a hair band, RATT, popular in the 80s.  Thanks to him I am utterly ungoogleable, as my now wife discovered when we met 10 years ago.  Dating due diligence bore no fruit when she tried to find out whether I had been arrested for rape, murder, or outstanding parking tickets thanks to the deluge of fan-sites, forums, and photo galleries of THE Stephen Pearcy.  My meager accomplishments are swamped on the internet by his music and libertine lifestyle.  It has taken time, but I have finally accepted this. I first learned of his existence when I was a teacher in the late 80s.  Students would put up drawings on my classroom door of a rat with a beard, glasses, and floppy hat that were my trademarks alongside articles about the band.  In the early 90s I would occasionally find reviews of his records in free
Read more