The IPAD was created to view Chloe Sevigny in Space

Every technology has an ideal use.  Sometimes it is not the inventor's original concept.  Throughout the past 100 years, inventions have been re-purposed by those with imagination and vision.  A few examples are likely to convince anyone:
The CAR - originally designed for people to travel from home to work or places far away, its true purpose became clear when a visionary couple somewhere had sex in the back seat.  For generations, the car has been the place where millions have lost their virginity, had an illicit affair, or even were conceived (e.g. Elaine Robinson in a Ford).  It is wonderful that all can thank the puritanical Henry Ford for the opportunities provided by the car.  Let's hear it for Henry.  Hoo-ray!
The INTERNET - originally designed for scientists to communicate and share data, the internet was considered by many in the 90s to be the new horizon for commerce and the future highway for information.  It was only in 2003 that the musical Avenue Q clarified the true purpose of the internet.
Kate Monster: The Internet is really really great,
Trekkie Monster: For porn!
Kate: I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait.
Trekkie: For porn!
Kate: There's always some new site.
Trekkie: For porn!
Kate: I browse all day and night.
Trekkie: For porn!
Kate: It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light...
Trekkie: For porn!
Kate: Trekkie!
Trekkie: The Internet is for porn!
Kate: Trekkie!
Trekkie: The Internet is for porn!
Kate: What are you doing!?
Trekkie: Why you think the net was born?
Porn! Porn! Porn!

 Kate: I'm glad we have this new technology...
Trekkie: For porn!
Kate: Which gives us untold opportunity.
Trekkie: For porn - oops, sorry!
Kate: From your own desktop.
Trekkie: For ---
Kate: You can research, browse and shop...
Trekkie: Mm!
Kate: Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop.
Trekkie: FOR PORN!!
Kate: Trekkie!

 Trekkie: The Internet is for porn!
Kate: Nooo!
Trekkie: The Internet is for porn!
Kate: Trekkie!
Trekkie: Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!
The LAPTOP COMPUTER - conceived to give people the flexibility to write, work, or create anywhere using common desktop computer programs, the laptop evolved past its original design.  Made to allow people to do things easily away from their office, it has become the means people use to passively watch television programs, movies, and youtube cat videos.  It's also very convenient for the internet and it's main purpose (see above).
THE IPHONE - since its introduction in 2007, many have been confused by the presence of the word "phone" in the name.  The word brings to mind the telephone, the device invented by Alexander Graham Bell to allow people to talk to each other at a distance.  Indeed, that was the iphone's original purpose.  Today, however, as can seen by anyone in public, the iphone is used mostly to take photographs and send text messages.


So it's obvious that people can create new purposes for inventions, usually very different from the original intent.  So now we come to The IPAD.  Though the main purpose for the ipad in its early days was to play Angry Birds more easily than on an iphone, the true crowning purpose of the ipad can be found in the app, SkyView, which allows one to point the ipad at the sky, inside or outside, day or night, and see the positions of the stars and planets.


From the image on the screen, one can learn the name and path of stars, galaxies, planets, even man-made satellites.  It provides outlines of the constellations of the zodiac, including a comely rendering of Virgo which resembles Chloe Sevigny, proving Jay McInerney was right about her being the coolest girl in the world.

Rare alignment of Saturn, the Moon, and Chloe
One can even point the ipad down to the ground to see what the sky would look like in the southern hemisphere.  Finally, the app provides a spacey music soundtrack to evoke new age space travel.

I dare anyone to find a more amazing app.  There will be a lot of forlorn Angry Birds after word gets out.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Non-Profit, the Tanning Booth, and the Mercedes-Benz.

Image
No, this is not an attempt to parody C.S. Lewis by drawing together three disparate items into an allegorical children's story about sacrifice.  I work for non-profits, the first of the items above, and like all people and organizations, non-profits have to file a tax return.  For a 501(c)(3), the tax return is the IRS Form 990, in which the organization reports its income, expenses, and activities for the year.  Our auditor draws up our Form 990 as part of the annual audit. I review the form to make certain all of our answers make sense, the numbers are reported correctly, and that all the board members' names are spelled correctly.  This year, I noticed an interesting question: Tanning Booths?  Non-profits?  A 501(c)(3) is tax-exempt because it carries out worthwhile artistic, educational, or social programs.  I know there are a lot of strange things going on in creating the tax code.  But how do tanning booths mix with most non-profits?  Can you see a tanning boot
Read more

Flipping toy soldiers on ebay--a good haul

Image
Today people buy and then resell houses, cars, and other items, a process commonly called flipping.  Some of us "flip" toys, including my former student and master flipper Will .  He hits garage sales and estate sales and sells his finds on his own website .   I just cruise ebay while watching tv.  I just had a great flip of toys I found on ebay.  I will pay homage to the master toy-flipper with this post. Two weeks ago I found a bunch of toy soldiers and vehicles for 18.88 including shipping.  It was described by the seller as "Large Lot of Old Junk Military Men Landscape & Vehicle Toys Small and Bigger sizes"   and the photograph shows a bunch of soldiers of different sizes, globs of plastic, and pile of plastic pieces.   Like a prospector in the Klondike, I saw gold in that pile.   I was happy it was Buy it Now on ebay so I didn't have to bid against other prospectors.  I've sold some of it in separate lots.   Let's see what sold. In the sixties a
Read more

Old Dinky toy tank

Image
A couple months ago, I bought a toy that's over 70 years old on ebay.  It's a metal toy model of a tank the British army used between the two world wars.  The raised lettering on the bottom reads "Dinky Toys  Made in Britain."  The turret turns around and the tracks made of small chains move, so that you can move the tank on the ground or a table. It definitely looks like something from a different time.  The body of the vehicle has lots of rivets and rigid shapes that recalls the appearance of a steamship.  Which would make sense as the tank was thought of as a land battleship, which would stand at the edge of a battlefield and engage enemy  land battleships while smaller tanks raced around the battlefield.  Its turret resembles that of a battleship, while two guns extending from the sides of the chassis that resemble the secondary guns of a battleship for defending against smaller ships.  It was a familiar vision to Britain after decades as a supreme sea power,
Read more