Give Huma Abedin a break

Who doesn't love a political sex scandal?  Certain staples define the genre.  Headlines of foolishness and infidelity, most delicious when served as an example of hypocrisy.  A contrite politician explaining away his stupidity with his loyal wife at his side.  This week's fool is Anthony Weiner, and the wife is Huma Abedin.



People are almost excusing his almost funny stupidity (Carlos Danger!) while slamming her for standing by him.  She has a high profile career as an aide to former senator/secretary of state Hillary Clinton, herself a veteran of political sex scandal involving her husband. Many would say she is cynically riding the storm of politics for future glory.  Conservatives resent her for her beauty or intelligence or Muslim heritage, or a combination of the three.  Liberals accuse her of Stepford-wife loyalty to a jerk.

Many point to the example of Jenny Sandford, who left her husband for his actions, saying Abedin should "Dump the bum."  Other wives such as Wendy Vitter of Louisiana, Suzanne Craig of Idaho, Darlene Ensign of Nevada, and Silda Spitzer stood by their husbands (Silda Spitzer is filing for divorce after the coming election, having had it with him, but stood by him during his scandal for the sake of the children).  What's the difference?  Jenny Sandford was rich from her pre-political career in investment banking.  She, like any spurned wife who had options, left the man that strayed.  The other women had different stories: some stayed by the husband for the sake of children, and some did not have careers or money to fall back on and would have to move back to some grim home town in Louisiana or Idaho or some other grim place from which they eagerly escaped to Washington, DC.  Even disgraced politicians can have careers in DC as a lobbyist.  There aren't many careers out there for policians' ex-wives with children, and they know it.

There is also a big difference with Abedin and Weiner.  Her husband was fooling around on the internet.  Did he meet or have sex with another woman?  The other husbands were having sex with prostitutes, aides, and interns, all the while criticizing others for the same actions and calling for their resignations.  Did he father a child with a colleague and friend's daughter 22 years younger than him like Pete Domenici and keep it a secret for decades while he condemned others who dallied inappropriately?

How many husbands in America look at pornography online?  How many flirt with women at work or at the gym or at meetings?  How many have playful email conversations with women that go no farther than that?  Politicians are no different from other men, and perhaps even more susceptible to such failings.  Though the pursuit of power is certainly a lure for politicians, I would guess many are in the game because of their simple addiction to being liked and adored.

So compare the acts of the other sex scandal politicians with Weiner's, and you understand why Abedin is not packing her bags and taking her baby to a new place.  Sex with prostitutes, interns, a friend's daughter vs. sending a picture of himself to some email address.  If every woman in America divorced her husband for sexual activities with a computer, the only married people in America would be the Amish.

I think Weiner was an idiot for a) sexting after entering public life, b) continuing to sext after he was caught the first time, and c) possibly screwing up his relationship with a beautiful, intelligent woman.  Voters in New York can decide whether he should be their mayor (polls after the new revelations show he has already lost his lead there).  But leave Abedin alone, she didn't do anything wrong.

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