Prince of Cambridge already a Prodigy


The as yet unnamed son of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge has already racked up an impressive list of accomplishments.  Though the future royal heir will not likely assume the throne for a few decades after his grandfather and father serve as King of the Realm, in his first few hours he has been busy:
  • he inspired researchers in laboratories around the world to think a little harder and thus find cures for several fatal forms of cancer, unified field equations combining the basic forces of the universes, and, best of all, an explanation of why a cat purrs
  • he encouraged Pakistanis and Indians to join in a great conga line of over a billion people snaking across the South Asian subcontinent in celebration of the birth of a future king of the nation that oppressed their forefathers for over a century but gave them the English language, flush toilets, and toilet paper to clog them
  • he led an expedition to Mars to create a new empire which the British can be proud of again and resurrected his deceased grandmother Diana to finally reign as the People's Queen
And he's only a couple days old!  People who wondered whether all the media attention about his birth was appropriate can look to this partial list of accomplishments to quell any doubt of his significance.

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